Rough Day

Here is a picture of me and "Bug" when he was two months old. Hard to believe that was two years ago! I just think he's so cute. And hard to believe that within 24 hours I will have a newborn again. We're both really excited to meet her, see what she looks like and how her personality compares with Chance's at that age.

I've been pretty emotional on and off today though. Jeff doesn't really understand it. I'm not sure I do either except to say that it's hard for me to envision life with more than one child. I wouldn't say that Chance is overly clingy or needy. He's used to being with other adults and children all day, but I think he senses something is going on, but he's not quite sure what yet. He's been pretty needy this past weekend and wanting to be held more, calling himself a baby. I know this is somewhat normal behavior, but it just makes me sad. And I know every older sibling goes through it and comes out fine w/o being permanently traumatized, but it's just hard for me. I want to have enough love, enough patience, enough energy, etc for both of them. Chance has been an angel when it comes to other transitions - off the nursing, bottle, binky, into the toddler bed, etc. So...I should just hope for the best and assume it will continue, but who knows.

I'm also nervous for the recovery process. It went pretty quickly last time, but most of you know I HATED nursing. It was an awful experience for me, but I stuck with it because it was the healthy, cheaper thing to do. I just hope it goes smoother this time and that I can stay as dedicated. Keep your fingers crossed.